Monday, December 31, 2012

Racist Cakes

This was my moms favorite snack cakes growing up... racist much?

Friday, December 14, 2012

I'm not excited when i see stories like this in the media; it doesn't titillate me like some new 24/7 dramatic TV show. I see it as exploitation of the victims and a pathetic attempt at turning a tragedy into a political psa. If you want these sort of bizarre acts of hatred to discontinue #1 stop sensationalizing these events on television and #2 society as a whole needs to work on its morality and virtue.

Here is a psychological perspective on news coverage of mass shootings

There was one song that came to mind a few times today, i thought was just too appropriate.

Friday, October 12, 2012

My Letter to the Department of Treasury: UPDATED!

This September while visiting Washington DC, i found myself wandering around and bumping into the Department of Treasury!  With its grandiose columns staring back at me; so i decided i would address my grievance in person! I didnt know the time was 5:30pm and most people left home for the day, so as soon as i walked inside the building a secuirty guard walked up to me with his hand on his gun said "HOO HO WOAW WOAW woaw.... What are you doing, we are closed, hours of opperation out over what are you doing here?"

 I put my hands up and said "Hey now! Is this the department of treasury??" 

Security Guard "yes it is, but we are closed for today. What is your business here?"

"Ok, i wanted to talk to somebody in person. See i was in the area and decided to stop inside; about 7 months ago i sent you guys a letter about... some bills"

All of a sudden the security guards face when from offensive to completely confused. With a utterly disarmed face he repeats ".... Bills?" and cocked his head a few degrees.

"Yes some destroyed bills i sent here, it was several months ago and i wanted to get an update?"

Security guard "OH youre looking for Bureau of Engraving and Printing. They all have already gone home today, you can come in tomorrow at 9am"

  So no dice on addressing my grievance. I just about gave up on my destroyed bills until about a month later look what i got in the mail!  I got this mysterious government check for $19 in the mail.  I held on to it for about 2 weeks having no clue what it was for. I was afraid to bring it to my bank in case there was a mistake and i would have a swat team at my door for cashing it. Then i realized it was from my original destroyed bills; exactly eight months later and the Government delivered!  apparently $14 was less than 50% but $19 was good!

Anonymous American Flag Guy Fawkes Mask

I recently modified a Guy Fawkes mask based on a graphic I saw on facebook last year.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Rememeber 9/11

11 years ago marks a loss of innocence. Today when I remember 9/11; my thoughts are with the victims, the first responders, the police officers, the firemen and everyone across the world who was affected since that day. This event was a tragic example of extremists under the influence of collectivism and i wave sense of caution to remind us all never to fall into a similar way of thinking.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


So now Obama AND Romney are both sending me letters. Somebody out there really must have a good sense of humor? I have a lot of Return to Sendering to do; time to waste some more of that Goldman Sachs money

Monday, August 13, 2012

Post Offensives

So normally i go to the post office to drop of my packages but since the location by my house went broke and closed down; i decided just stick it in the convenient blue mail box. As i drive up to the mailbox, about to deposit my mail, i realize that- oh whats this ITS OPEN AND EXPOSING PEOPLES MAIL OUT OF THE BACK!!!! It will be open from now all the way until tomorrow around 5pm when somebody will do something. I'm sure the honest people in the neighborhood wont help themselves to the free netflix dvds? Being the honest person I am i had the idea to just remove the mail and bring them with me to another location; but as the notion entered my head I was interrupted by a passing police car and realized i would be sent to prison for even being in the vicinity of this mailbox. So i cautiously left a note for all the other dear patrons of the usps NOT to use this particular mailbox.

Government service at its finest

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Facebook coincidences

Did this really just happen? Two of my friends who are random strangers just encountered each other at the same time; and facebook just told me about it...

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Real ID Drivers License renewal

So it occurred to me last night while looking at my ID that its EXPIRED!!! So the logical thing to do is just go online and get a new one right?

The introduction of Nazi Florida is simple; its called REAL ID. To prove i am not an middle eastern extremist; apparently i need only 5 things Primary Identification, Proof of Social Security Number, 2 Proofs of Residential Address and a birth certificate. Sadly nor i or my parents have any of this information. So i guess i have to fly to Kenya and retrieve my birth certificate. Oh whats this? I need a valid form of Identification? HA my identification is expired. Who is the character who came up with this, what a card! har har

Let me remind you, this isnt about being able to drive on public roads- this is about public SAFETY. Everywhere i look I see dangerous suspicious extremists, i am so glad i can carry a card that not only clears my name as American but also allows me to operate my motor vehicle.


Tuesday, July 31, 2012


Have you ever thought for a moment that our beautiful little continent, on our pale blue speck of planet, in our insignificant galaxy within the incomprehensible enormity of the universe- that we are just a thought; a mere notion in the mind of the grand creator. That only a divine entity could have the sense of humor to dream up a sentient being, with the mental capacity of doubting his own creators existence.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

New Skool


For the record, pant saggin' is an antiquity from the early 90s period. It was not established in 2010; but instead capitalized by record labels dressing their actors to ride the coat tails of the gangster rap trend. They still wear them just as low but the only noticeable difference now is the decreasing size of the pant size IE skinny jeans.

By the year 2017, thugs will be saggin' bare-assed in jeggings.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Oh thank heaven!

Happy Seven Eleven day! Yes you can go celebrate by having a free slurpie but i will be enjoying a birthday cake; Happy birthday to me! In honor of this simultaneous day of excellence, i decided to visit my local 7-11 and wish them a happy day. They praised me as the official messiah of their company and we rejoiced together honoring the day of my birth. Thanks again, you tha' MAN Rafique!

Yeah this just happened; 7/11 on 7/11 at 7/11 with 7/11

Sunday, July 1, 2012


Thanks instagram for turning everyone with an iphone into a professional photographer/supermodel. Education, internships, experience, talent, $5,000 dollars of photography and lighting equipment- throw it away!

Thursday, June 21, 2012


As all of you collect yourselves after tonight's Heat game, i just want to breath a word of caution that too much excitement these last several weeks can lead to postpartum depression. I wish you the best of luck assimilating yourselves back into the exciting game of LIFE; where we dont just watch it and you need 2 balls to play it.

Monday, June 4, 2012

RIP Eduard Khil

Rest In Peace Comrade Eduard Khil. Your songs were beautiful, and your most famous song was a universal sound of joy that will be in our minds, in our hearts and broadcasted into outer space forever.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mothers day!

To all the baby Mamas out there! All the working class, going to school, single ready to mingle and even the happy married ones too. This is your day, kick your heels off and enjoy the day in your honor! Special thanks to my Dear old Mom- love you and wish i could be in Texas today!

Monday, April 30, 2012

How does Portland Abate Graffiti?

By tazing and beating the shit out of an innocent guy who had nothing to do with graffiti.

this article focuses on a poor random guy that had the unfortunate luck of being misjudged by the cops for a graffiti writer; and got his face creamed into a frappuccino. But nobody once questions the opinion of a dear humble graffiti artist who if he were identified correctly would have been doing the electric boogaloo. There is much focus on the innocent party- but is this Smackdown justifiable if he committed a petty crime? This instance is only a pity because an innocent man received some outlaw justice from our paid in-law police force- but why does a non violent graffito practitioner deserve an ass whipping of a lifetime from the man in a black costume?

In the end we all lose; OUR $250,000 in tax money goes to pay for our mistakes of our own public servant.

Breakin' Faces

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Chinese girl gets swallowed by pavement

Top 3 things creepy about this video:

#1) That you could fall through a sidewalk at any moment and never know when or where
#2) That there are cameras filming everyone at all times in China
#3) That somebody will most likely be killed for this mistake and their family will be charged for the execution bullet.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Dead on the highway

HOLY FUCKING SHIT tonight on the way to the gym I saw a human being laying in the middle of Okeechobee Blvd!!! So i busted a U turn and when i ran up to him; it turned into a large sack of laundry lmao


The sample lady at my Publix today told me she was cooking YUHCKA... I love the stark contrast, she does not let the fact she is the only white lady working at an all Cuban Publix effect her 1 tiny bit

Saturday, April 14, 2012

What Graffiti Artists Do

Recently a serious of internet memes have been going viral, about "what society thinks i do". Ive seen them for virtually everything, so i had to represent the humble graffiti writer. All of my friends who practice graffiti and those who just know about the writing culture in general got a kick out of this.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Hoppy Easter! Now hand over your papers, please!

West Palm Beach police use bunny costume to enforce seat-belt law

— A man and a bunny were walking down the center median of Okeechobee Boulevard Wednesday morning when the bunny began flashing a sign at passing motorists: "Have a safe, hoppy holiday. Buckle up!"

Amused drivers smiled and waved at the duo. (One motorist even tried to give the man a $20, thinking he was homeless.)

But this was no joke. Both were West Palm Beach police officers out to enforce the state-sponsored "Click it or Ticket" campaign; signalling other officers stationed off Tamarind Avenue when motorists were not wearing their seat belts.

Wearing a seat belt "should be an involuntary response when you get in a vehicle," said Sgt. Matthew Bessette of the department's traffic division. Beginning around 8 a.m., officers cited 50 motorists in the first two hours alone.

Bessette, who came up with the idea of using the bunny costume and calling the one-day effort "Operation Hippity Hop," said it was the department's way of spicing up the educational enforcement campaign. "You never know where we're going to be or what we're going to look like," Bessette said.

That certainly rang true for Kendui Paicus, 30, of West Palm Beach. He said he saw the bunny, but didn't think much of it. Paicus was issued a $116 citation for not wearing his seat belt.

Tesheika Lee said she also saw the bunny but thought she was in the clear because she was wearing her seat belt under her arm. "I knew it was wrong, but it's just not comfortable," she said, before driving away and almost forgetting to slip the top band over her chest.

Before letting the 29-year-old West Palm Beach resident go with a verbal warning, Bessette made sure to explain the correct way to wear a seat belt.

If you really care about seat-belt safety, how about a large blinking sign that says, "buckle your safety belts"? A lot of people are struggling right now, some with no jobs- a $116 ticket is enough to starve a family for a few nights. Hey kids no power this month- because we're all going camping in the backyard! On top of all this, whose perverted idea was it to dress up as the Easter bunny? Even worse is this name "operation bunny hop"- the last time i checked these were public servants- why does everything have to be named as a military operation?

my favorite part:

"You never know where we're going to be or what we're going to look like"

Friday, April 6, 2012


I JUST FOUND A DOUBLE CHAMBERED PLANTAIN AT PUBLIX!!! NO THIS ISNT PHOTOSHOP- YES THIS IS REAL LIFE!!! I dont even know how to peel this thing! If you are wondering if they charged me for 1 or 2 plantains- i forced the girl at the register to charge me for only 1 plantain due to its mutation.

SCORE!!! Video of me peeling this thing coming soon, IF i ever decide to eat it. Something this sacred has to be saved for my wedding day or my 40th birthday.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Miami Highschool Trayvon Protestors Detroy Walgreens...

lmfao this was awesome. Destroying a Walgreens for absolutely no reason under the guise of protesting against a racially motivated shooting is so ridiculous i have to appreciate it. Why? "Because we were mad." A standing ovation. My hat is off to the future of Miami!

If i were walking by i would of loved to run inside too and share my hatred of Walgreens and destroy the store too. I would rip open several dozen packages of skittles all over the floor and do a backspin on it. Because the bag of skittles represents the collection of different colored people and my body smashing them into one blob represents all of us coming together... Against Walgreens.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

YAAAAARG walk tha plank!!!

So i was doing a google search for something and stumbled across this bittorent website and was surprised to see THIS... lol Wow is this really happening?

The first thing that comes to mind is this graphic artist sitting in a government building; then a guy in a black suit walks in and gives him specific instructions on what to illustrate to put on a website that will be shutting down due to piracy. EVERY graphic artist no matter how affiliated with the government, church or otherwise at one point another has downloaded a song, software or game online. The imaginary expression on his sarcastic face as he creates this graphic is the scene of a lifetime.

What i find particularly amusing is they actually use the websites domain and webspace to host the banner haha. I was expecting something like

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Ebay Virgins

I always feel so honored taking someone's Ebay Feedback virginity. Ide like to imagine they have been saving themselves their whole life for me... or did i just happen to come around at the right time when they wanted to get rid of it?

Monday, February 13, 2012

My Letter to the Department of Treasury

"Dear Sir or Mam,

I was invited on Friday by friends to visit the downtown area of West Palm Beach. Later in the evening, a young man inside the club was throwing money in the air so he could laugh at people trying to pick it up. Money is hard for everyone right now and unfortunately for me i was embarrassed and insulted by typical people of Palm Beach with money who laugh at the expense other people.

Toward the end of the evening he ripped his stack of money in half and practically threw it in my face. I regretfully picked up a majority of the money that didn’t blow off the rooftop of the establishment. I have a true appreciation for what you do because I managed to decipher and recover 9 full dollars from all of the pieces. The remainder of the pieces i included inside the envelope. Some pieces are well over 50% and others are hard for me to tell if it is 49% or 51% because of the nature of the rip down the center. Either way, please try your best and thank you for all your efforts in advance. I included all smaller pieces of money so that you can inform the department treasury of bills no longer in circulation (regardless of my return).

thank you and have a great day



Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Florida Primaries

I was surprised today by the amount of people who told me not only are they NOT voting (which is perfectly ok) but dont ever want to vote. Jersey shore, Simon Cowell, Lebron and Miami Dolphins you win this round. You can still have your bread and circus, but if enough people remain ignorant- then we'll be 15 trillion in debt with 18% unemployment, be groped at the airport and having Americans assassinated or detained without a trial by the US government!

here are some uninteresting headlines completely unrelated to television watching that dont have anything to do with effecting our lives:

I am not bitter in the least bit, when i was younger i didnt register to vote because if i did i would be drafted into Iraq; so i held my political ideology to my self or restricted it to intellectual debate. But to refuse to? And at such a pivotal time to be asleep at the wheel! If you arent educated then there is no better time to start paying attention. If you still think your life isnt effected, you're wrong. TRUST ME, take it from somebody who lived without rights for so long; you'll miss them when they are gone!!!

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

the lower case i

It is not uncommon knowledge that internet has produced its own native vernacular. One ritual that i purposely engage in on the internet that i would never on paper, is the refusal to capitalize my "i"s. Why you ask? Well if you have to ask- then i'll have you know that many generic fonts used on certain websites and social networking do not differentiate there lower case "L"s with there upper case "i"s. For example lets say i am not feeling well; someone may misconstrue that instead of feeling Ill i may be feeling like
Rocky III

Now dont get me wrong, i may deviate if it is the beginning of the sentence- BUT that is only if the letter L doesn't immediately follow it!

PS- this is the internet and nobody knows who you are so you can tack on happy faces and 10 exclamation points

PPS- i have replaced all LOLs with LMAO- so that everyone reading will know i have an incredible sense of humor. All existing LMAOs have been upgraded with LMFAO accordingly.

the most dedicated of all lower case EYE fundamentalists.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Street singing Dead Heads

So i was walking to the post office to drop off some letters; when this old dead head starting singing to me "Livin on Reds, Vitamin C and Cocaaaaaine". He was confused and thought my Vatican Tattoo Shirt said Grateful dead lol. I would of joined in with him but i didnt know the full song. A random stranger singing to me is pretty awesome; but one upping him by singing the rest of the song in an impromptu duet would of been a spectacular moment in buffoonery.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Vatican's Top 45 favorite movies!

i just noticed "Nosferatu" on that Vatican's top 45 favorite movie list.... lmao

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Cookin with the Pauls!

Thank you so much to the Future First Lady for the very thoughtful card and the awesome new signed cookbook!!! I'll be cookin like the Pauls now!