Thursday, March 31, 2011

Unpleasant News

Well the king of smooth, Bill Raspanator, called me today with rather unpleasant news. I know we weren't all really friends with him but i thought I should put it more gently than bill did to me today. Ryan Woods, has passed away last week and even though he was somewhat of a tortured soul; lets spend a moment to remember him in whatever positive light you can

Bill: *in an unusually upbeat voice* "Hey Eric guess what? I got some news for you!"

Eric: "whats up dude you broke up with your girlfriend?"

Bill: "noooooooo, its about a guy!"

Eric: "you broke up with your boyfriend?"

Bill: "i dont have a boyfriend, i not gay Eric i have a girlfriend. Im not lying either"

Eric: " well whats the news bill"

Bill: "you remember Ryan Woods well hes Dead!" without even a pause after "you remember"

Eric: "Bill... wow dude.. im... im sorry for your friend bro."

Bill: "Eric im not lying, Hes dead Eric he died of **************"

Eric: "Bill dude im sorry"

Bill: "Yeah i just called his ex girlfriend and told her"

Eric: "well holly shit bro you dont sound phased at all- wasnt he your friend? i hope to god you didnt break it to her like you did to me"

Bill: "Well she didnt pick up the phone, so i left a message Eric. I said "Hey whats up... its bill... Hey Ryan woods is De- uhh i said Ryan woods Passed away from ***********

Eric: "dude thats terrible. How do you even know he died that way?"

Bill: "His mom told me! She told me that *********

Eric: "OK dude i got it. are you going to go to his funeral? Im looking online- its tomorrow"

Bill: "yeah im going- i guess"

Eric: "Dude he was your friend, do you even know what time the funeral is?"

Bill: "I dunno sometime tomorrow i dunno. Ill ask his mom!"

Eric: "ok dude i got to go i'll talk to you later....."

If there has never been overwhelming evidence before that bill is a psychopath than it is now 100% confirmed. Like the time that kid who died at Bradley's- and bill went to his funeral and tried to get girls phone numbers? This is worse.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Dedication

Dedicated to all the great men and women i watched during my time, sacrifice their life and die for me. God bless you; you are all Heroes.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


WE DID IT!!! The Robocop Statue is officially a go! I never had any reason in my life to go to Detroit, until now! I cant wait until the day i am strolling through Detroit and see one of contemporary Americas greatest literary figures... ROBOCOP! I will look onto that statue and know that my support helped make it happen. IIIIIIDE buy THAT! for a dolllaarrrr!!!

This one goes out to the only cop i'll ever respect in my life- this ones for Alex Murphy

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Just mean

So i was doing some price comparison on some sign printing for a client of mine... And i notice Kemp Signs inc listing on had quite a nasty review. I chuckled at its cruelty and cheap personal blow, senselessly posted on their business profile. I laughed but thought it was pretty mean spirited and had nothing to do with the company. When i called for a quote, they informed me that they dont do traditional sign printing- that they are more geared towards large 3 dimensional signage like McDonalds , Gas stations etc. She was kind enough to refer me to several other sign shops.

I then asked her if they ever saw the review on their listing from yellowpages. She said she didnt, and i had the pleasure of reading it to her. She was shocked and said that she knew EXACTLY who they were talking about- the owners ex partner. I said the review is 3 years old and they should look into getting it removed or at least refuting it. lmao

I posted this to make it known that although i occasionally like to troll on the internet and have a little guilty shameless fun at somebody else's expense from time to time- i know when to draw the line. This guy was just being mean spirited, somebody being friendly and talking proudly about their son and fishing shouldnt have to be penalized for it. I think "USUCKMAN" is the one who really sucks for being a miserable ahole.

Monday, March 14, 2011


now i can finally construct the worlds largest solid poprock crystal ever; strong enough to blow out a pair of wisdom teeth.