Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Lights out

The light bulb in my kitchen just burned out... This can only mean I will be cooking cheeseburgers by candle-light tonight.

So Romantic

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Welcome to West Palm!

I recently came across this article about 14 signs you were born and raised in West Palm Beach, FL. So i thought ide add a few of my own addendums to this list:

#15) Someone you know, or you personally, have been robbed in the parking lot on the way back from dinner at Cityplace.

#16) You witness, or have been involved in a large, drunken, bloody, brawl on Clematis street.

#17) You tell your friends who visit from out of state, to go to South Beach.

#18) Your girlfriend got groped and maced at Moonfest in 2010.

#19) You have heard every vagrants life story before he asked for .89 cents

#20) You know the difference between fireworks going off and gunshots.

#21) You have been harassed, coerced, extorted, abused, or shot by the local police.

#22) You don't see movies on Friday and Saturday nights because of how loud and sometimes violent the movie theater gets.

#23) You can see luxury cars worth over 100k and a car worth less than an iphone, at the same time.

#24) Palm Beach Metered beachfront parking is an absurd $5 per hour.

#25) You routinely see 19 year old girls with their 60 year old sugar daddies.

#26) Its filthy, its corrupt, its culturally vapid, its dangerous, its superficial; but its our lovely home. Welcome to West palm!

Monday, June 9, 2014

thank you for holding, please hold

If your life's ambition was to become an accomplished jazz musician; one way of achieving your dreams to be heard by a national audience is to give up all credibility and write a never-ending jazz composition, to be heard while on hold for a customer service representative.