Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day! Lets us take a moment to reflect and remember all our union boys that died, especially at Gettysburg

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Eric's 10 Year Highschool Reunion: CANCELED!

Everyone is entitled to their 10 year highschool reunion. It is a vital part of Americana that we were talking about even before we graduated. It is embedded into us at an early age through music, movies and folklore. A great way to connect with old friends, see who made it, who got married, who got fat etc. The results are always surprising and it is a great way to reflect on the simpler times of being a teenager.

One of the biggest personal peeves of mine is being left out of things that i feel entitled for. Nothing that hurt me growing up more than getting picked last on the kickball team or when somebody throws a party and invites the entire school except me etc. But here we are years later, semi adults and we learn to choose our own opportunities and embrace the rewards of acceptance from friends, loved ones and the life that we built for ourselves.

On television, movies and to my personal knowledge- the 10 year highschool reunion is sort of a big deal. Before the internet, there were companies that were hired to track people down for events and occasions such as this. Phone calls were made, formal invitations sent, some may picture a gymnasium with cheap party streamers and the highschol garage-band getting back together playing schmaltz in the background. Not anymore!

Enter Stefany Allongo- The marketing Genius that is in charge of assembling our 2001 highschool reunion. Does she do an internet search for the entire class of 2001? Does she use the internet as a easy resource to find everyone with plenty time in advance? Does she send leters, phonecalls, emails or make any effort to contact people? Does she search the DSOA alumni facebook page for users? NO. She creates a facebook event page and invites as many people as her adorable attention span can handle. THATS IT. Forgetting 2001's cast of most memorable characters- but most mentionable ME! What the FUCK. I first heard breath about it a few weeks ago from my friend Mike Guido, complaining about a reunion coming up costing $60!? So yesterday, i see on facebook on a friend status talking about carpooling to the reunion. I thought to myself "oh yeah! we must of graduated in or around May- maybe its this weekend!" Being that i still havent received the invite i wouldnt know. So there i am searching facebook- any word on the Official school's facebook page? Nope. How about the official 2001 school alumni page? Not there either... Finally my friend Mike sends me an invitation to the event. Mike isnt on the Alumni committee but he should be because he made a greater effort than Stefany Allongo. There it is, June 11th- celebrating a momentous milestone with a No Eric's Reunion party at The Living Room Boynton.

Apparently the reunion is smack dab in the middle of my trip to Texas. I remember looking on my calendar and making sure i wasnt going to miss any important events, birthdays etc in the month of June. Oh just my 10 year highschool reunion Stefany, i guess i can see you at the next one in 10 years, no big deal who cares. You miserable piece of SHIT. Your criminal negligence and laziness have robbed me of a great memory and experience. It might not mean a lot to some people- but that is easy for them to say because at least they can say they had a choice.

Let me say this, in addition to asking $60 to attend ones own 10 year reunion party; she also is trying to CRAM into the same weekend her other ventures to donate money to her various benefit societies. Normally a very noble cause Stefany, but cheapened by the idea of first expecting people to pay $60 for entry to their own reunion- then tacking on more money to your organizations. UNLIKE you, several people are married or in relationships- as Guido pointed out that means $120 now goes just to attend your own reunion. Being that this is an art school, the concept of "starving artist" obviously takes no meaning to someone who lives with and works for her parents- according to her bubbly biography on her website. Also let me point out that in 2008 the economy crashed and unemployment rates are higher now than ever. Some people lucky enough to have a job are struggling to keep their houses. No matter how much money you make, if you have kids then anybody would know how stiff a $120 investment is. These are all concepts alien to Stefany Allongo, who lives in a fantasy world, wiping her ass with all of her college degrees while helping sell an openly exposed scam juice like Monavie for her parents and "event planning" which she is so excellent at.

Now i know I dont have 3 college degrees- but let ME play the part of an event planner. I could conservatively say that HALF the graduating class of 237 people are married or in a serious relationship- so that means 118 significant others can be added to the guest list. 237 alumni+ 118 guests= 355 EASILY could be attending- lets be more conservative. Lets say 75 of those people and their significant others live outside the state and make it, that would means realistically well over 280 people can come to this event. Lets LOWBALL it even more- lets say 250 people show up and pay $25 bones- that means i have 7 thousand dollars to put on a serious party. Stefany you on the other hand out of 237 people have only 55 confirmed- that means you get a Failure grade of 23% of people going to your event. If i wasnt going to Texas, i would easily rent out a nice venue and fill the entire building up and charge less than $25 a head- covering food, drinks, decorations, rent, a DJ playing everything from 2001 and a photographer that goes around and takes photos. If i wasnt in Texas then you can put money on it that I would make this whole thing happen on the same night of June 11th.

Stefany this buds for you: for hurting me and taking away a memory from me that i have been looking forward to for a long time.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Surfing Madonna

Some of you may have heard about the "surfing Madonna" mosaic that was installed under a bridge in California. Since it was installed without permission the city is calling it graffiti and although they like it- they are considering it "graffiti" because it was installed without permission and they don't want to set the president that people should be installing beautiful works of artwork on public property for free... because... well... you just cant be doing those sort of things.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43096648/

and my usual uplifting rebuttal:

"the problem is simple, let us destroy ALL artwork and there will be no problem. All you people that think art should be anywhere, artwork has always offended people (that is a fact) and should be done away with permanently. Look at all the money that is wasted on removing artwork? Think of all the people offended by it? Dont get me started on religion, that is next to go."

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Apocalypse

So this is hell... Satan was a bit sloth so he just copied the earth exactly. Its going to be an awkward Sunday mass for Harold Camping... Can i get a Matthew 25:13? Amen Brother

And now back to our regularly scheduled apocalypse

Friday, May 20, 2011

Judgement Day... *Dramatic music*

so by the way, nobody freak out or anything but in case you didnt get the memo- tomorrow is judgment day. Any ideas on how to ring in the apocalypse?

http://judgementday2011.com/


I always wonder if these guys are sitting in their chair thinking either everybody will feel so dumb when it starts raining fire or how dumb they are going to feel when nothing happens. Its a 50/50 bobo chance















No regrets, Vaya con dios!!!

Government readiness

So the CDC.GOV has a plan just in case of a zombie apocalypse lmao


http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp


I find this absolutely ridiculous- because not once is there any mention of the essentials:

1) Boomstick
2) Assault Rifle
3) Chainsaw
4) Antiseptic (Machete)

on that note... some cool clips about Zombies





Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Ding dong the which is dead!

why are people on facebook more critical of this ridiculous farce than the mainstream media? Shouldn't they be asking the hard questions or at least be skeptical? If i have to watch this government storyline- can I at least get something more dramatic than a burial at sea? This is the same country that brought you Transformers; i want a billion tax dollar black ops budget film drama that will make all the skeptics they created into flag waving patriots feeling so stupid they ever doubted the government.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Mockingbird


***8/7/12 UPDATE! A YEAR LATER AND WE HAVE MY BIG BUDGET FICTION!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Cut and Collect

This isnt my original idea- i first saw this as a gag online in a photo. So i recreated the file and thought it would be funny to bring some levity to everyday life.