Voting for Kanye in 2020!

Its election season again (its been for the last 2 years) and everyone has a right to their own political opinion. What I love about being an staunch advocate for Kanye West 2020 is the reciprocated respect I demand for entering the opinion arena. I have to hear all day about people throwing their chips on two out-of-touch old white guys pushing 80 years old, but Kanye is a man of his contemporaries; the type of celebrity billionaire that common people can relate to. At his first campaign rally last weekend, he just promised 1 million dollars to every woman who gives birth. Some of you will say "thats ridiculous!", but a few months ago another political outsider Andrew Yang promised $1,000 monthly Universal basic Income for everyone. If receiving $12,000 annually for existing was a competent idea in 2019, why cant we just receive a lump sum at birth and all be born millionaires? National debt has never been a campaign issue for Presidents before so we shouldn't start now, besides who doesnt like money?

I know previously I advocated for non participation in 2020, but I have been convinced this is the 6th most important election of our lifetimes. So this year I want to say YES:

Yes I will vote for Kanye West,

yes I will flip-flop on my principles,

yes I will cherry pick past every stupid thing he says,

yes I will focus on the positions I like most that effect me exclusively,

yes I will believe every absurd campaign promise he makes ,

yes I will adopt new fervent positions I never cared about,

yes i will self-administer anesthesia and ignore his questionable mental health,

yes my irrational belief in Kanye is no different than you for your candidate,

yes you told me to "get out and vote" so here it is

The most credible thing I can declare in the years of my experience with politics; if you don't vote its a vote AGAINST Kanye2020, if you do vote for Trump its a vote AGAINST Kanye2020, and if you do vote for Biden its a vote AGAINST Kanye2020. The choice is clear, West is Best, be easy with Yeezy, vote for Kanye and rip Harambe. Join the Birthday Party, register to vote, let your voice be heard and make a difference!

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/kanye-west-kicks-off-1st-presidential-campaign-event/story?id=71869069

A national tragedy in Orlando

I wasn't going to feed into this media fear extravaganza and chyme in my most arrogant opinion about religion, sexuality, gun rights, foreign policy etc; or give some Oscar Speech turning the tragedy inward toward myself and how sad i am, how good I am for lending my thoughts and prayers to aid in the situation. By no means do I want to minimize this event, but before your fear turns to hatred, to avoid checking under your bed tonight for the Ghost of Osama Bin Laden; just a reminder you have a 1 in 20 million chance of getting killed in a terrorist attack. A person is more likely to die in a plane accident, get shot by cops, drown in a bathtub, be burned alive in a building fire, or be killed from the Sun by way of heatstroke, than from a terrorist attack.

You are however AS likely to be killed by your own furniture. CNN just reported the Government has been funding Radical IKEA freedom fighters in Sweden again... If you feel a loose spring in your couch, call the TSA immediately.

When arguing against a libertarian

With the elections in full swing, I thought I would share with you something I created to help you remember the correct way to argue politics online. Since many of my friends at one point in time have felt the wrath of my opinion and are still emotionally intelligent enough to be friends, I give you my highest regard. This universal acronym can be used when having a heated conversation with anyone online, but specifically against the dreaded fedora wearing armchair neckbearded libertarian.

#1 FIGHT through their opinion. Even if you feel you are feeling defeated, always resort to physical threats, insults and name calling to break down the esteem of your opponent.

#2 UNFRIEND your opponent or family from all social media. Since the entire point of an intellectual conversation is to WIN, if you feel you are backed up into a corner- simply block them in your privacy settings.

#3 CONSIDER their argument as a mortal insult to your values and views on life in general.

#4 KEEP your mind closed and let your emotions be your strongest ammunition of your argument, ignore links from reputable sources. Be sure to use misspellings and elementary grammatical errors to further insult the intelligence of your opponent.

Read and Remember the acronym above; if you don't believe me, eat shit i'm always right and go fuck yourself because your a stuped loser anyway.