Hurricane tips

Seemed like a good idea to pass this on:

A few 🌪️hurricane tricks for Floridians who are seasoned storm veterans:

1. Share  memes laughing and taunting the hurricane while its still a week out and off the coast of Africa.

2. Deny it can ever hit your location and try to remember the last time a really bad hurricane happened in your recent memory.

3. Live your life casually and make plans for the weekend as if nothing is happening.

4. One day before the hurricane hits, panic and buy all the cheap price gouge-free bread there is on the shelf, leaving dozens of other unprepared floridians to starve.

5. Nail a used door to your sliding glass entrance and refreshen tape to all windows, since windows already had disintegrated tape from previous hurricane 1 decade prior.

6. Throw all chairs and patio furniture into neighbors pool.

7. Get drunk and walk around barefoot during eye of the storm to survey damage.

8. When the storm is over, leave the house to buy more bread and speed through intersections without traffic lights.

9. Consider looting your local dollar general and any unattended generators you come across.

10. When power is restored, post on facebook about how this storm wasnt so bad meanwhile 70% of people in your city still have no power and are  repeating points 7-10.

Welcome to West Palm!

I recently came across this article about 14 signs you were born and raised in West Palm Beach, FL. So i thought ide add a few of my own addendums to this list:

#15) Someone you know, or you personally, have been robbed in the parking lot on the way back from dinner at Cityplace.

#16) You witness, or have been involved in a large, drunken, bloody, brawl on Clematis street.

#17) You tell your friends who visit from out of state, to go to South Beach.

#18) Your girlfriend got groped and maced at Moonfest in 2010.

#19) You have heard every vagrants life story before he asked for .89 cents

#20) You know the difference between fireworks going off and gunshots.

#21) You have been harassed, coerced, extorted, abused, or shot by the local police.

#22) You don't see movies on Friday and Saturday nights because of how loud and sometimes violent the movie theater gets.

#23) You can see luxury cars worth over 100k and a car worth less than an iphone, at the same time.

#24) Palm Beach Metered beachfront parking is an absurd $5 per hour.

#25) You routinely see 19 year old girls with their 60 year old sugar daddies.

#26) Its filthy, its corrupt, its culturally vapid, its dangerous, its superficial; but its our lovely home. Welcome to West palm!

Redneck

I got handed a last minute promotional gig for jose cuervo; and spent all weekend on the beach working. After this weekend, Ive officially become what i love to hate...