The Art Of Texting

The other night at 2:45am i got a call from a girl that was a friend of a friend of mine a year ago. I didnt recognize the name at the time but deducted who it was later and texted her back to ask why she called me in the middle of the night? Mind you i havent talked to this girl in over a year. I texted her asking her if she meant to drunk dial me- and she starts telling me this story about waiting on my porch (i dont have one) and ringing my door bell (i dont have one either) and waiting outside with Mike (who?) till 5am. YES, well if you know anything about me- you'll know instantly that now i come alive. Here is our conversation WORD for WORD:

Me, Her

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Did you drunk dial me last night? Lol

lol. No. I Didn't want mike driving home and he said he was going to stay at your place, so i wanted to make sure he made it. We got to your place and rang the doorbell and called... i didnt want to leave him so we hung out on your porch for a while then slept in the grass for a bit.

Oh im so sorry! Next time pound the door. If i knew i would of given you guys my matress

haha...aww you're sweet. I just felt bad leaving him to sleep in his car, but i don't think he minded or even noticed :-)

Aww that is so thoughtful of you to stay with him. I never heard the doorbell I was in the bathroom all night with a terrible stomach virus

lol. omg. are you okay today?

We saw the light on for awhile. But figured u were in the shower or had a girl over :-) I stayed with him until almost 5am but couldn't fall asleep in the car!

Well I hope you are all better....

Oh my god it was awful. I had a girl in my bed waiting for me for 45 minutes and I was on the toilet having the worst diarrhea of my life!

hahahahahahaha, Thats awful!!! Sorry to laugh at your expense, but its gonna be one of those things you will laugh at later. Sort of sounds like a nightmare!

Well I hope, for both of your sake, that you ended up feeling better and at least got to seal the deal in the morning :)

A nightmare was when i was fucking her and some squirted out. We got in an argument because I tried to blame her for it. I dont think she'll call me again

You have GOT to be kidding!!

Im dead serious.

I haven't laughed this hard in awhile!

Please tell me the last part is made up

You can't make this shit up.

I haven't laughed this hard in awhile!

hahahaha...Sounds like a movie!

So embarrassing. Im doing my laundry as we speak

Wat did she think you were doing in the bathroom that whole time? ?

And no, i don't think you are going to hear from her

She thought i was sick but when the smell krept outI assume it was self explanatory

I know its too late now, but maybe next time you are n that situation (hopefully never!), tell the girl ur not feeling well and wait for the morning! Lmfao

Nothing will stop me from getting booty

Well it makes for a great story. I laughed so I hard I cried

Shut the fuck up!!! Omg! Please stop making me laugh so hard! It hurts. My whole body hurts after last night. Me and Mike took the liberty of getting freaky at your front door. Lol

Last night was a shit show for everyone. Especially for you!!! No pun intended! hahahahaha... Shout it out!
If it happend to you, would you still call me back?
Well i typically don't have sex w someone until i get to know theym pretty well and get comfortable w them. So in that case, I might be able to understand that the guy was embarrassed and didnt know how to cover it up lol. But i think I may be scarred! haha

I don't know her. If it was a new chick- I def wouldn't count on hearing back from her unless u apologized for accusing her... But thats too much work and would YOU really want to see her after that? Lol.

What if you were at a girls house and she shit herself while you were fucking?? I dont think you would ever call!! Omg. I can't stop crying from laughing so hard

Yeah I suppose you're right... But if it were me I would finish no matter what.

Omg. You are too funny.