Well the king of smooth, Bill Raspanator, called me today with rather unpleasant news. I know we weren't all really friends with him but i thought I should put it more gently than bill did to me today. Ryan Woods, has passed away last week and even though he was somewhat of a tortured soul; lets spend a moment to remember him in whatever positive light you can
Bill: *in an unusually upbeat voice* "Hey Eric guess what? I got some news for you!"
Eric: "whats up dude you broke up with your girlfriend?"
Bill: "noooooooo, its about a guy!"
Eric: "you broke up with your boyfriend?"
Bill: "i dont have a boyfriend, i not gay Eric i have a girlfriend. Im not lying either"
Eric: " well whats the news bill"
Bill: "you remember Ryan Woods well hes Dead!" without even a pause after "you remember"
Eric: "Bill... wow dude.. im... im sorry for your friend bro."
Bill: "Eric im not lying, Hes dead Eric he died of **************"
Eric: "Bill dude im sorry"
Bill: "Yeah i just called his ex girlfriend and told her"
Eric: "well holly shit bro you dont sound phased at all- wasnt he your friend? i hope to god you didnt break it to her like you did to me"
Bill: "Well she didnt pick up the phone, so i left a message Eric. I said "Hey whats up... its bill... Hey Ryan woods is De- uhh i said Ryan woods Passed away from ***********
Eric: "dude thats terrible. How do you even know he died that way?"
Bill: "His mom told me! She told me that *********
Eric: "OK dude i got it. are you going to go to his funeral? Im looking online- its tomorrow"
Bill: "yeah im going- i guess"
Eric: "Dude he was your friend, do you even know what time the funeral is?"
Bill: "I dunno sometime tomorrow i dunno. Ill ask his mom!"
Eric: "ok dude i got to go i'll talk to you later....."
If there has never been overwhelming evidence before that bill is a psychopath than it is now 100% confirmed. Like the time that kid who died at Bradley's- and bill went to his funeral and tried to get girls phone numbers? This is worse.