Lights out

The light bulb in my kitchen just burned out... This can only mean I will be cooking cheeseburgers by candle-light tonight.

So Romantic

Welcome to West Palm!

I recently came across this article about 14 signs you were born and raised in West Palm Beach, FL. So i thought ide add a few of my own addendums to this list:

#15) Someone you know, or you personally, have been robbed in the parking lot on the way back from dinner at Cityplace.

#16) You witness, or have been involved in a large, drunken, bloody, brawl on Clematis street.

#17) You tell your friends who visit from out of state, to go to South Beach.

#18) Your girlfriend got groped and maced at Moonfest in 2010.

#19) You have heard every vagrants life story before he asked for .89 cents

#20) You know the difference between fireworks going off and gunshots.

#21) You have been harassed, coerced, extorted, abused, or shot by the local police.

#22) You don't see movies on Friday and Saturday nights because of how loud and sometimes violent the movie theater gets.

#23) You can see luxury cars worth over 100k and a car worth less than an iphone, at the same time.

#24) Palm Beach Metered beachfront parking is an absurd $5 per hour.

#25) You routinely see 19 year old girls with their 60 year old sugar daddies.

#26) Its filthy, its corrupt, its culturally vapid, its dangerous, its superficial; but its our lovely home. Welcome to West palm!

thank you for holding, please hold

If your life's ambition was to become an accomplished jazz musician; one way of achieving your dreams to be heard by a national audience is to give up all credibility and write a never-ending jazz composition, to be heard while on hold for a customer service representative.

Atheism vs Deism

  Whether it is Greek mythology, Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Rastafarian or Buddhism etc; if following any spirituality provides fulfillment to your personal life and reading beautiful literature brings you comfort, who am i to criticize?

   People that plague themselves and others with religious dogma appear to be just as isolated and miserable as the self appointed atheists who reject any spirituality in favor of nothingness. Its funny how either side can be so sure of themselves.

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Tonight i venture into the masochistic abyss, one of the greatest of all time terrible movies to come out of the 1990s- "Mario Bros". I havent seen this quality film since it was in theaters and now i'm back to bear the shit storm. Bob Hoskins said this was the worst movie of his career; him and Leguizamo both started drinking heavily just to get through filming. This is what happens when you make the first ever film based on a nonsensical video game about plumbers; and a director that geared it toward adults but a studio that wanted to appeal to kids.

Open the door,
Get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur.

I love nature

I've always been fascinated how Walmart is like its own habitat. But i dont think panhandling the other natives inside the Supercenter is a viable form of survival strategy. May i suggest migrating to the front of Publix?

AT&T is my hoe

AT&T's shitty modem breaks on me a year ago- so I raise hell and get a new one, plus $20 off my internet bill. A year later they try to be sneaky and raise my bill, so I bring on more hell with a supervisor and threaten to go to Comcast- now i'm paying $10 less than i did with a discount.

This is the one abusive relationship that keeps paying off. Eventually down the road, i'll get to the point where I have FREE internet and a representative coming over to fold laundry.