Ebay Virgins

I always feel so honored taking someone's Ebay Feedback virginity. Ide like to imagine they have been saving themselves their whole life for me... or did i just happen to come around at the right time when they wanted to get rid of it?

My Letter to the Department of Treasury

"Dear Sir or Mam,

I was invited on Friday by friends to visit the downtown area of West Palm Beach. Later in the evening, a young man inside the club was throwing money in the air so he could laugh at people trying to pick it up. Money is hard for everyone right now and unfortunately for me i was embarrassed and insulted by typical people of Palm Beach with money who laugh at the expense other people.

Toward the end of the evening he ripped his stack of money in half and practically threw it in my face. I regretfully picked up a majority of the money that didn’t blow off the rooftop of the establishment. I have a true appreciation for what you do because I managed to decipher and recover 9 full dollars from all of the pieces. The remainder of the pieces i included inside the envelope. Some pieces are well over 50% and others are hard for me to tell if it is 49% or 51% because of the nature of the rip down the center. Either way, please try your best and thank you for all your efforts in advance. I included all smaller pieces of money so that you can inform the department treasury of bills no longer in circulation (regardless of my return).

thank you and have a great day

Eric

"

Florida Primaries

I was surprised today by the amount of people who told me not only are they NOT voting (which is perfectly ok) but dont ever want to vote. Jersey shore, Simon Cowell, Lebron and Miami Dolphins you win this round. You can still have your bread and circus, but if enough people remain ignorant- then we'll be 15 trillion in debt with 18% unemployment, be groped at the airport and having Americans assassinated or detained without a trial by the US government!

here are some uninteresting headlines completely unrelated to television watching that dont have anything to do with effecting our lives:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/30/us-usa-refinery-strike-idUSTRE80T1MF20120130

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-andrews/classified-mcchrystal-rep_b_298528.html

http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-11-02/home/30348654_1_food-stamps-oecd-child-poverty

http://www.wealthbuildingcourse.com/real-unemployment-rate-20-rising.html

http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/archives/15-trillion-dollars-in-debt-45-million-americans-on-food-stamps-and-zero-solutions-on-the-horizon




I am not bitter in the least bit, when i was younger i didnt register to vote because if i did i would be drafted into Iraq; so i held my political ideology to my self or restricted it to intellectual debate. But to refuse to? And at such a pivotal time to be asleep at the wheel! If you arent educated then there is no better time to start paying attention. If you still think your life isnt effected, you're wrong. TRUST ME, take it from somebody who lived without rights for so long; you'll miss them when they are gone!!!



"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
-Einstein

the lower case i

It is not uncommon knowledge that internet has produced its own native vernacular. One ritual that i purposely engage in on the internet that i would never on paper, is the refusal to capitalize my "i"s. Why you ask? Well if you have to ask- then i'll have you know that many generic fonts used on certain websites and social networking do not differentiate there lower case "L"s with there upper case "i"s. For example lets say i am not feeling well; someone may misconstrue that instead of feeling Ill i may be feeling like
Rocky III ? NO SUCKAH.

Now dont get me wrong, i may deviate if it is the beginning of the sentence- BUT that is only if the letter L doesn't immediately follow it!

PS- this is the internet and nobody knows who you are so you can tack on happy faces and 10 exclamation points

PPS- i have replaced all LOLs with LMAO- so that everyone reading will know i have an incredible sense of humor. All existing LMAOs have been upgraded with LMFAO accordingly.


the most dedicated of all lower case EYE fundamentalists.

Street singing Dead Heads

So i was walking to the post office to drop off some letters; when this old dead head starting singing to me "Livin on Reds, Vitamin C and Cocaaaaaine". He was confused and thought my Vatican Tattoo Shirt said Grateful dead lol. I would of joined in with him but i didnt know the full song. A random stranger singing to me is pretty awesome; but one upping him by singing the rest of the song in an impromptu duet would of been a spectacular moment in buffoonery.

Vatican's Top 45 favorite movies!

i just noticed "Nosferatu" on that Vatican's top 45 favorite movie list.... lmao



http://www.decentfilms.com/articles/vaticanfilmlist.html

Cookin with the Pauls!

Thank you so much to the Future First Lady for the very thoughtful card and the awesome new signed cookbook!!! I'll be cookin like the Pauls now!