A Chat with CHAMPS Customer Service

I saw a shoe inside Champs and took a picture of it because i liked it and wanted to look online for it again. I didnt know what kind of shoe it was, so i emailed Champs to ask them; here is my series of unhelpful responses...

=ME
=THEM



Original Message Follows:
------------------------


Feedback type: Question
Area: Products

Comments:
======================
hey there, i was just in Champs today and saw a really awesome shoe so i took a picture of it with my phone- but i cant find it on your site.
Can you tell me what shoe this is?

http://i.imgur.com/mueRw.jpg



thanks!

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Date: 11/21/11 07:29:47 AM
Subject: Champs Sports FeedBack Form

Hello Eric,

Thank you for your email.

Due to the potentially serious email virus risks involved with opening
an attachment, we are unable to open and read any unsolicited emails
containing an attachment. We are also unable to view any images that may

be embedded within an email. Please resend your email in written form
in
order for us to better assist you.

Please let us know if we can assist you further.

Sincerely,

Mary W.
eCustomer Care


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Original Message Follows: ------------------------

its just an image; i took it with my cell phone camera. There is no
other way i can describe my shoe to you. If you spontaneously obtain a virus i would hope Champs has adequate virus protection software.
Can you please connect me with someone from Champs who is eager to
sell shoes and not looking out for the best interest of your computers?
Your computers arent my concern nor are they the answer to my
shoe related question. If you cant than i'm sure someone from another
shoe store will

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Date: 11/21/11 06:45:02 PM
Subject: Re: Champs Sports FeedBack Form


Hello Eric,

Thank you for your email.

If you would like you can upload your image to photobucket and add the
photobucket image into the email for us to view, but sadly, we do have
strict policies regarding attachments in emails and are unable to open
your message.

Please let us know if we can assist you further.

Sincerely,

Levi S.
eCustomer Care

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Thank you for your response Levi, but i do not have any attachments- i
have a link that is directed to an IMGUR account, the number one website for hosting images. I am not going through anymore hoops creating a
photobucket account, if anybody from Champs would like to click my
ultra-virus infected photo and identify which shoe it is, i would appreciate it.
if not i will take my business else wear.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: 11/22/11 01:56:27 PM
Subject: Re: Champs Sports FeedBack Form


Hello Eric,

Thank you for your email.

Please let us know if we can assist you further.

Sincerely,

Benjamin K.
eCustomer Care


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Thanks for your reply Benjamin, i will take your generic letter as an
invitation to show me the door. That is fine, i will try to contact
Foot Locker and see if i have any luck with them. In the mean time, I
will share this experience with my peers online. It is a shame when a company
feels so large to cannot answer a simple question because of its policy
on viewing images inside an email. I would recommend this free
anti-virus from AVG to protect you from dangerous emails, that is if
anyone is brave enough to click on the link

http://free.avg.com/us-en/homepage

cheers

Eric

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Date: 11/23/11 01:52:36 PM
Subject: Re: Champs Sports FeedBack Form

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your email.

Please understand that our policies regarding images and embedded links
are in place for the safety of all our customers. This is not to say
that we do not have security software or anti-virus software, it is
simply an additional precaution. Many other companies have similar
policies in place as well.

That said, I did view the image you provided and we do not carry that
shoe. I cannot provide an exact identification of that shoe for you
either, although it did look like there may have been a short
description on the price tag. The photo was not sharp enough to read the
tag.

Please let us know if we can assist you further.

Sincerely,

Robbin H.
eCustomer Care

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Thank you Robbin for eventually answering my question. Finally
after jumping through flaming hoops, now i know that you do cannot identify a shoe sold in your own stores. lol thanks for nothing, happy thanksgiving.

Eric


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Date: 11/23/11 06:39:29 PM
Subject: Re: Champs Sports FeedBack Form

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your email.

Sorry for the inconvenience, but the policy regarding downloading images
is strict and for good business reasons. May I suggest that you go to
the nearest Champs store and perhaps an employee would be able to
provide you with more information and availability after showing them
the picture of the desired shoe. Regardless of the situation, you are
important as a customer and we do value your business!

Please let us know if we can assist you further.

Sincerely,

Thomas V
eCustomer Care

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Thanks Thomas, I appreciate your response but unfortunately I cannot drive to my nearest Champs because i just sold my car, all my worldly possessions and decided to join the Amish to reject all technology. I just decided I cant live in a world where computer viruses can restrict the quality of customer service that businesses must rely on and worst of all- destroy a potential sale . I am glad I shared the series of unsuccessful emails with Champs because it has shown me the evils of technology. I just sold this computer and I hope the next letter of satire you receive will be by pigeon. I feel sorry that Champs is caged in a world burdened by technology and dictated by computer viruses, i wish you the very best.

Eric


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Date: 11/24/11 08:24:17 AM

Subject: Re: Champs Sports FeedBack Form

Hello Eric,

Thank you for your email.

I am hoping that you have not sold your computer yet so that you may get this response. As far opening attachments and pictures, this was not a practice of ours due to the amount of emails that we receive on a daily basis containing attachments. However we now allowed our associates to open and view attachments. The shoes that you are referring to in your picture are the Jordan Sky Hi Court Low - Leather.

Please let us know if we can assist you further.

Sincerely,

Wendi L.

eCustomer Care

i changed their policy. win.

Its NERF or nothing!

So the other day i was reading about a guy who modified his Nerf guns and i decided that maybe i should have my try at it. I searched craigslist and saw an add selling 3 Nerf guns for $30... I sent an email back and forth attempting a fair negotiation for the weaponry, and for some reason i never got a finished response. This was my conversation:

Eric: I'll give you $15 cash for them

Rosy Garcia: My 11 year old is selling them. He would really like $30. He is trying to save up for something. Let me know. Thanks

Eric: Please explain to your son that although the Nerf guns may be in excellent condition, its market retail value has been thoroughly depreciated after it has been opened and played with. Thus is the mistake in investing into something of that nature which loses its value as soon as it is opened. Let me suggest that perhaps this $15 can go toward something more constructive and enjoyable such as a coin collection. Also let us not forget the value of hard honest labor to achieve one's goals- IE Car washes, paper routes, delivery services etc.

Let me know his thoughts, thank you


she did not dignify the human man child with a response.

The Art Of Texting

The other night at 2:45am i got a call from a girl that was a friend of a friend of mine a year ago. I didnt recognize the name at the time but deducted who it was later and texted her back to ask why she called me in the middle of the night? Mind you i havent talked to this girl in over a year. I texted her asking her if she meant to drunk dial me- and she starts telling me this story about waiting on my porch (i dont have one) and ringing my door bell (i dont have one either) and waiting outside with Mike (who?) till 5am. YES, well if you know anything about me- you'll know instantly that now i come alive. Here is our conversation WORD for WORD:

Me, Her

----------------------------------------------------------


Did you drunk dial me last night? Lol

lol. No. I Didn't want mike driving home and he said he was going to stay at your place, so i wanted to make sure he made it. We got to your place and rang the doorbell and called... i didnt want to leave him so we hung out on your porch for a while then slept in the grass for a bit.

Oh im so sorry! Next time pound the door. If i knew i would of given you guys my matress

haha...aww you're sweet. I just felt bad leaving him to sleep in his car, but i don't think he minded or even noticed :-)

Aww that is so thoughtful of you to stay with him. I never heard the doorbell I was in the bathroom all night with a terrible stomach virus

lol. omg. are you okay today?

We saw the light on for awhile. But figured u were in the shower or had a girl over :-) I stayed with him until almost 5am but couldn't fall asleep in the car!

Well I hope you are all better....

Oh my god it was awful. I had a girl in my bed waiting for me for 45 minutes and I was on the toilet having the worst diarrhea of my life!

hahahahahahaha, Thats awful!!! Sorry to laugh at your expense, but its gonna be one of those things you will laugh at later. Sort of sounds like a nightmare!

Well I hope, for both of your sake, that you ended up feeling better and at least got to seal the deal in the morning :)

A nightmare was when i was fucking her and some squirted out. We got in an argument because I tried to blame her for it. I dont think she'll call me again

You have GOT to be kidding!!

Im dead serious.

I haven't laughed this hard in awhile!

Please tell me the last part is made up

You can't make this shit up.

I haven't laughed this hard in awhile!

hahahaha...Sounds like a movie!

So embarrassing. Im doing my laundry as we speak

Wat did she think you were doing in the bathroom that whole time? ?

And no, i don't think you are going to hear from her

She thought i was sick but when the smell krept outI assume it was self explanatory

I know its too late now, but maybe next time you are n that situation (hopefully never!), tell the girl ur not feeling well and wait for the morning! Lmfao

Nothing will stop me from getting booty

Well it makes for a great story. I laughed so I hard I cried

Shut the fuck up!!! Omg! Please stop making me laugh so hard! It hurts. My whole body hurts after last night. Me and Mike took the liberty of getting freaky at your front door. Lol

Last night was a shit show for everyone. Especially for you!!! No pun intended! hahahahaha... Shout it out!
If it happend to you, would you still call me back?
Well i typically don't have sex w someone until i get to know theym pretty well and get comfortable w them. So in that case, I might be able to understand that the guy was embarrassed and didnt know how to cover it up lol. But i think I may be scarred! haha

I don't know her. If it was a new chick- I def wouldn't count on hearing back from her unless u apologized for accusing her... But thats too much work and would YOU really want to see her after that? Lol.

What if you were at a girls house and she shit herself while you were fucking?? I dont think you would ever call!! Omg. I can't stop crying from laughing so hard

Yeah I suppose you're right... But if it were me I would finish no matter what.

Omg. You are too funny.