Down on UP

I hate when people tell me their favorite movie is UP- and the moment when I grimace in disapproval they have the balls to ask me why? I answer

"Because the entire beginning is a story of someones one and only life-mate; and her longing for children. One day his wife DIES and they never have kids and his life is a miserable and bitter reminder of that emptiness... ENTER MOVIE"

oh happy day! all the balloons and cutesy jokes in the world wont wash that out.

Killer Cantaloupe

So i drove to Publix tonight with the sole purpose of buying cantaloupe; when i got a call informing me of 13 deaths this month by cantaloupe. WHAT THE FUCK!

Wait until i start growing my own fruit... Then i'll be the one handling ALL the melons...

Until then- Watermelon tonight!


Tainted cantaloupe kills 13, sickens 72 in 18 states

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day! Lets us take a moment to reflect and remember all our union boys that died, especially at Gettysburg

Unpleasant News

Well the king of smooth, Bill Raspanator, called me today with rather unpleasant news. I know we weren't all really friends with him but i thought I should put it more gently than bill did to me today. Ryan Woods, has passed away last week and even though he was somewhat of a tortured soul; lets spend a moment to remember him in whatever positive light you can

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/palmbeachpost/obituary.aspx?n=ryan-patrick-woods&pid=149822799


Bill: *in an unusually upbeat voice* "Hey Eric guess what? I got some news for you!"

Eric: "whats up dude you broke up with your girlfriend?"

Bill: "noooooooo, its about a guy!"

Eric: "you broke up with your boyfriend?"

Bill: "i dont have a boyfriend, i not gay Eric i have a girlfriend. Im not lying either"

Eric: " well whats the news bill"

Bill: "you remember Ryan Woods well hes Dead!" without even a pause after "you remember"

Eric: "Bill... wow dude.. im... im sorry for your friend bro."

Bill: "Eric im not lying, Hes dead Eric he died of **************"

Eric: "Bill dude im sorry"

Bill: "Yeah i just called his ex girlfriend and told her"

Eric: "well holly shit bro you dont sound phased at all- wasnt he your friend? i hope to god you didnt break it to her like you did to me"

Bill: "Well she didnt pick up the phone, so i left a message Eric. I said "Hey whats up... its bill... Hey Ryan woods is De- uhh i said Ryan woods Passed away from ***********

Eric: "dude thats terrible. How do you even know he died that way?"

Bill: "His mom told me! She told me that *********

Eric: "OK dude i got it. are you going to go to his funeral? Im looking online- its tomorrow"

Bill: "yeah im going- i guess"

Eric: "Dude he was your friend, do you even know what time the funeral is?"

Bill: "I dunno sometime tomorrow i dunno. Ill ask his mom!"

Eric: "ok dude i got to go i'll talk to you later....."




If there has never been overwhelming evidence before that bill is a psychopath than it is now 100% confirmed. Like the time that kid who died at Bradley's- and bill went to his funeral and tried to get girls phone numbers? This is worse.

How to assassinate a hot Russian Spy #3675

i found this on go-ask-alice several years ago, and added it to my collection of things to know...

"Yes, it's a true but very rare occurrence. When air is blown or forced directly into a vagina — without allowing any air to escape — an air embolism (the abnormal presence of air in the cardiovascular system) could form, which can be fatal. Women who are more at risk for this unlikely possibility are those whose pelvic vessels are enlarged (meaning, increased blood supply to the vagina) due to a condition such as trauma and possibly pregnancy. So, if a very large amount of air were to be blown or forced into their vaginal canals, it's possible that the air could enter their bloodstream, causing a blockage in a blood vessel. As a result, some of these women, perhaps including the pregnant women's fetus, may experience complications. In extraordinary cases, some of these women (and the fetus) may die if the embolism travels to the heart or lungs."